Kenapa?

Tak semena-mena timbul perasaan tak suka dengan apa yang aku lihat.


Hurmmmm...

Kantoi!

Sudah kantoi sama Mak.  Gara-gara si mulut bocor, rahsia 18 tahun dulu sudah pecah. Terkesima kejap.  Nak-nak pulak ditala dengan follow-up questions lagi bertubi-tubi.  Soalan paling straight-forward tahun ni daripada Mak, "Takde can ke nak sambung balik?"

Mak, oh Mak...ini bukan tali, boleh nak disambung-sambung macam tu je.  Jasad memanglah milik orang yang sama pernah aku kenal, tapi hati? 18 tahun bukannya singkat...masing-masing ada life dan komitmen sendiri sekarang.

Dia sendiri pernah bagitau yang dia tak mencari.  Tak berpeluang berjumpa gadis Melayu katanya...iyelah tu! =P  

Seriuh-riuh Mak pun, ada juga hikmahnya di situ.  Doa orang tua tu bukankah makbul? Pastinya Mak pun sentiasa mendoakan yang terbaik untuk anak-anak.  Ayat 3 pasang pengantin pun dah hujung bibir je aku dengar sekarang ni.  Kalau dah ketetapan Allah, suatu masa nanti datang yang baik untuk aku, siapalah aku nak menolak?  

Tak berani nak berkata ataupun berharap apa-apa.  Aku percaya yang jodoh pertemuan, itu semua kerja Allah.  Bercinta bagai nak rak pun, kalau dah Allah kata bukan untuk aku, tetap bukan untuk aku.  Insya-Allah, I'll do my part: berusaha, berdoa dan bertawakkal.  Berusaha membaiki kekurangan diri sendiri, berdoa agar Allah ketemukan aku dengan tuan punya yang rusuk kirinya ada pada aku dan bertawakkal kerana hanya Dia yang Mengetahui apa yang terbaik.

"Kalau mahu mencari yang baik, banyakkan usaha menjadi yang baik."  

P.s. Macam kata si dia juga, "Manalah tau kan..."  Wallahu a'lam.

Frankness and Things in Common

Had quite a long chat with once a long lost friend wee this morning.  To be buzzed by him and being asked "cepumas" questions were kind of surprising, I might say.  His frankness perhaps, which enabled me to be open about such issues.  Some people would just prefer to cut it short, or would simply avoid to answer, due to the tendency of sensitivity it might cause.  And surprisingly (again!), my openness to spill the beans led us to realizing that we actually did have some things in common.  Boleh masuk topiklah kaedahnya...hehe.     

Hey you, thanks for the appreciative, uplifting words ya!  Hilang jugaklah sikit penat, "mengejar-ngejar" everybody for maximum reunion participation coming this June.   Also thanks for having trust in me to work together with the rest of the team. They deserve the credits even more than I do!  Without them, the plan would be progressing nowhere.  =)

Till later.


P.s. May your lil' munchkin get well really soon, ya!

April's almost reaching its end!

Assalam peeps...

This is my first post of the year...and blimey, it's almost the end of April! Where had the time flown? And what I've been busying myself with?

Lots (I mean DAMN lots!) of things had happened within these past 4 months.  Good ones, bad ones, happy and sad...and hey, I don't even spend much time for myself! Blame the work...not, alhamdulillah so far everything (well, almost) is doing great. So into it that by now, honestly I'm rethinking whether or not to further my studies. Gila kerjakah aku sekarang? :-O


Ok, ok...VK comes later. In fact, I've already planned quite a few getaways till the end of the year. Just a pat or two on my own shoulder... =)

April - the month when I got to see THAT (those) familiar face(s) again for the first time (after 18 years!). The feeling is just so overwhelming...and surprisingly, that something's still there somewhere (unchanged?). 

*smile*

April also witnessed the loss of our loved one...my cheerful late uncle, Allahyarham Ali bin Abdul Hamid who succumbed to cardiogenic shock. May your soul rest in peace, dear Cik Ali...together with those who believe in Him. Ameen.

So, have to actively blog again from now on, yes? My instinct just says that many interesting stuff are going to take place really soon. Who knows what?


Till later.

Beautiful name... =)

Assalamualaikum,

Tiba-tiba teringat nama yang pernah suatu masa dulu aku suka...well, I still do actually. Mula-mula terjumpa dalam satu novel (a present from my dear aunty, Ms. Umi Salmah) zaman sekolah menengah dulu. Just a common name, with different spelling...which ends with "k" instead of "q". Plus, terasa macam sedap pulak bila disebut dan didengar, heheh...

Nama tu betul-betul wujud sekarang. Rasanya tak pernah pun jumpa nama tu sebelum ni in reality...until now. It's been months jugaklah. Not really SOMEONE in my life, though. =P


My shoutout to those with such a name: "Hey, what a beautiful name you have there!" 

*winks*

Kuatkanlah Semangatku

Mengapalah setiap sesuatu itu mengingatkan aku padanya?


Ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangatku...


Aku hampir hilang daya.


=(

Syukur...

Syukurku pada-Mu atas ingatannya padaku.
Syukurku juga pada-Mu atas lindungan-Mu terhadapnya.


Syukur.

Hurm...

Hurm...


Barangkali aku saja yang terkenang, aku saja yang teringat... =(

My First Time

Salam peeps...

A few first time for me happened yesterday.

The first one took place at my mum's cuz's house (he's also the owner of an established drinking water company). Well, it was my first time meeting him too. His way of giving duit raya was somewhat unique, I might say. Instead of giving away angpows, all he did was throwing coins...lots of them, while the relatives were given a plastic bag each for collecting those coins. I was quite shy to join in at first (the rest of our convoy group too, I bet), but later it was getting more fun! The family which collected the highest amount of coins was given a prize...some more duit raya! And we did, with the total amount of RM 296 (the families combined). I wish I could upload a pic or two soon. Absolutely a fun-time! =)

Later, another new something came to my knowledge. Pakcik Hamzah, the host, told us that his grandfather (my late great grandfather, Allahyarham Abd. Rahman) was a Chinese origin from the Mainland of China. Never had the chance to meet him, but my late grandfather did have that Chinese look. So does my mum, especially at her young age. On the way back home, my mum told me about a Chinese woman at the salon asking whether she "has Chinese blood" due to her having Chinese eyelids.


So, I am officially the 3rd generation of Malay-Chinese blood now eh? =P


And the last one...later at night, I got the chance to hang out with my two new friends (one of them is not so new lah since I've known him for 3 months already). Such humorous and warm fellas, they were. We were borak-ing as if we have known for long. Managed to catch a comedy movie together... =)


All in all, a great whole day indeed for me till wee in the morning. To those two, thanks so much for completing my meaningful day!




P.s. Saya gembira bersama kamu... =)

One Step Further

Courtesy: http://www.c4rlh.com

There's something different in the way you talked for the past few days, so I noticed.


Hurm...salah makan ubatkah? =P




P.s. He's trying his best without losing his composure, I know. And if Allah wills, his effort and patience will bear fruit. Soon.

Andai kautahu

Andai kautahu...


P.s. Soalan menduga-duga lagi. Tak tersangka. =)

Jalan yang Lebih Baik

Courtesy: yuhusayso.blogspot.com

Taking a hiatus seems to be the best decision. So far. Untuk aku memahami perasaan sendiri. Dan untuk mengelak dari terus-terusan dibuai perasaan. Dan beberapa perkara lain yang samar. Masih.

Adakalanya rasa terdera dengan tindakan...tapi aku cuba juga untuk gagahkan diri.

Aksi tarik tali ini semakin menggusarkan aku. Semakin aku menghulur, semakin aku keliru.

Haruskah aku lepaskan terus? 

Persoalan: Akukah yang salah mengerti?

I hope I do well. At least I pray for one.

*sigh*

Hurm...

Tidak pasti dengan rasa hati.


*sigh*

Not Going

I'm not going.

Just not yet. =P

Petang kelmarin, dapat phone call daripada kenalan Mak aka abang angkat Adik yang tengah buat full-time Masters study kat UKM tu.

"Offer biasiswa untuk full-time tahun depan dah buka hari ni kat portal KPM."

Biasiswa yang dia maksudkan merangkumi cuti belajar bergaji penuh. Siapa tak mau!


Memang lama jugalah aku berbual dengan cikgu tu. Bersungguh-sungguh dia menerangkan...lagi bersungguh-sungguhlah aku bertanya itu ini. Jalan dah makin nampak...


"Saya yang buat full-time pun tak terkejar."


Dengan kuliah during weekdays sahaja...mau anorexic aku nanti, LOL!!!


Borang dah siap isi...medical check-up pun dah buat. Simpan untuk tahun depanlah nampak gayanya... =P

Alhamdulillah...

Salam...

Eventually, the most awaited letter has arrived.

Keputusan memang dah tahu awal-awal lagi sebenarnya...hujung bulan lepas dah semak online. It's just that the thrillness is way different. Key-in I/C no...and there it goes. Tapi bila adik hulur surat, dia punya berdebar, satu macam...

"Kak Long, surat. UKM."

Hurm...

So, I'm soon pursuing my studies eh?


*blink blink*

Macam tak percaya, tapi itulah hakikatnya.


Asalnya hati memang berbelah-bagi sejak awal. Sebelum keluar keputusan, Mak bercerita tentang seorang kenalannya yang tengah buat full-time masters kat UKM jugak, same course as the one I applied for. Banyaklah pronya, I know...as I myself prefer doing full-time rather than part-time. Tapi memandangkan ketika permohonan dibuat, aku masih lagi menunggu surat pengesahan jawatan yang tak kunjung tiba macam buah tak jatuh, aku pun mencuba-cubalah nasib. Itupun setelah diuja oleh kawan-kawan yang sama-sama nak apply. Last minute decision...dapat tak dapat, belakang kira.

Bila dah begini keputusannya, dan aku seorang je yang lepas...hmm, haru jugak. Mampu ke aku nak meredah semua ni sendiri? Pergi kelas yang tak tahu lagi macam mana susun atur jadualnya, commuting to and fro from Melaka to Bangi...assignments...letihhhh...

Perasaan berkecamuk, tak tentu arah rasa...huh!

Ayat kak Raja Mardiana, seorang sahabat yang buat aku terkedu...

"Rasa macam orang datang pinang pas tu tak tau nak jawab apakan?"

*gulp*

Aku berkongsi rasa jugak dengan rakan-rakan, mintak pendapat. Bila baca komentar diorang ni, sedikit-sebanyak datang semangat, mengujakan aku untuk nekad meredah apa yang bakal menanti. Tak cuba, takkan tahu. Thanks peeps! =)) 

Petang semalam, bertembung dengan rakan sekerja, Ain Baharuddin di pejabat pos. Sempat juga berbual panjang tentang hal nak sambung belajar ni. Rupa-rupanya, memang ramai lagi yang menyimpan hasrat. Aku yang dah dapat ni, takkan nak tolak mentah-mentah?

Bersyukurlah Jid! Allah tutup satu jalan, dan Dia dah bukakan satu lagi jalan lain. Alhamdulillah...

Baru terbaca dalam satu buku. Kalau banyak sangat halangannya dalam usaha untuk mencapai apa yang kita nak, memang Allah sengaja menjauhkan kita dari perkara tu...sebab Dia tahu, itu bukanlah yang terbaik untuk kita. Hurm...one life lesson which I learned the hard way...big time!

Ok...untuk 2 hari ni, ambil feel dulu. Belek-belek offer letter, buat checklist...pergi library, jeling-jeling apa bahan yang ada...hehehe.

And yes, the feeling is so overwhelming.

*tarik nafas dalam-dalam*

Till later. Selamat bersahur! xoxo

P.s. Wait, Jid...you've done this before kan? Macamlah tak reti! =P

Ramadhan Kareem

Source: orucly.wordpress.com

Salam...

Pernah aku suarakan pada seorang kawan...setiap kali menjelang bulan puasa, hati mesti berdebar-debar sendiri. Tak pasti pulak kenapa. Mengenangkan hal yang lepaskah? Atau membayangkan sempat atau tidakkah aku menyambut Ramadhan tahun ni? Yang pasti, 4 kali Ramadhan yang lalu, memang ada ceritanya sendiri. Hurm...biarlah!


Harapan aku Ramadhan tahun ini, dapatlah kiranya bertarawih sebanyak mungkin...dan semoga lebih banyak perkara yang menggembirakan berlaku. Cumanya seperti tahun lepas, bermula dengan demam jugak nampak gayanya...Bertabahlah Jid!


Kepada semua muslimin dan muslimat, selamat menyambut kedatangan Ramadhan 1432H...mudah-mudahan segala amal ibadat dapat dilaksanakan seikhlas hati dan diterima Allah s.w.t. Insya-Allah... =))

Cerahlah langit...

Entah kenapa hati tak menentu arah rasa.


Tak pasti juga kenapa aku dengan seronoknya menyakitkan hati dia.


Dengan niatkah?


Aku tak pasti juga.


Langit pun tak menyebelahi aku ketika ni.


Cerahlah langit, aku mau keluar...


Biar hilang rasa yang tak aku gemari ini.  

Private message from UNICEFMY

A message which I received in my FB inbox just now would really make my day...

Hi Jid, thank you for your help, for your support, and most importantly, your commitment to children. Every bit of support you give us and share with us on our UNICEF Malaysia page is recognised by our team, and we truly appreciate your dedication to our mission to create a World Fit for Children. Thank you Jid for always standing on the side of children. Your support is so very much appreciated.

Best
UNICEF Malaysia




*bliss*

2nd day of advance weekend...

While others are working (and some have reached home), here I am...savouring my 2nd day of advance weekend. 

*bliss*

Asalnya menjangkakan dapat cuti sehari je dek kerana Hari Kantin yang sepatutnya dibuat semalam...tapi oleh sebab ada "angin" mengatakan Melaka cuti sempena Melaka Maju 2010, makanya dipercepatkan sehari.  Kalut jugak, since aku kat KL masa diorang buat urgent meeting...kononnya berkira-kira ada satu hari lagi for final prep before the event...sekali, huhuhu~

Alhamdulillah, things went smoothly...mujurlah pagi tu ada Chelsea-Spartak Moscow's match buat pelayan mata sambil menyiapkan apa-apa yang kurang (and we won 2-0, woohoo~). 

Two thumbs up for the Urus Setia team (you know who you are!) for making this event a success...yang penting tak ada isu lebihan kupon, tak cukup lagi ado! =)) 

Thus, I mark this 2 day-off as a self-reward post-hard work which I have done since a few weeks (months?) back, and the event's success as my birthday gift this year.

*pat on own shoulder* =))

Image courtesy: revolutionmyspace.com

P.s. So, the petite Jedi won the light sabre battle, huh Arty? Thanks for your petrol pour! *winks*

20.10.2010

Courtesy: gipsye.centerblog.net

Still in my sweet 20(s) on 20.10.2010...


Countless gratitude to Allah... =))